When God Betrays Your Trust
My Personal Story
For nearly 9 months after finding that my wife was expecting a baby, every day I prayed, "Father, please keep Mother and Baby safe and healthy." We were so excited.
For several months Baby would kick and sometimes it would have hiccups. There was a real living person in there and we couldn't wait to meet him or her.
When my wife's contractions started I drove her to the hospital. A heart monitor was applied. Baby had hiccups again. Then the strong, regular contractions at 6 minute intervals began. "Not long now!" we thought.
Then, to everyone's surprise, Baby's heart rate dropped from 140-150 down to about 70, but after a couple of minutes it went back to normal again. "Nothing to worry about, I hope" went through my mind. The medical staff went back to their normal routine preparations.
Then the contractions suddenly ceased and Baby's heart activity began to fade away. "Oh God! What's happening?" I thought. "Father, please let everything be all right." I remembered the words of Jesus "Keep on asking and you will receive." I felt sure my wife and the baby would be ok. I had prayed sincerely and Jesus isn't a liar. He wouldn't break a promise.
Two doctors and a midwife had an urgent discussion and then they rushed my wife to the operating theatre for an emergency caesarian operation. I waited in the corridor outside, pacing back and forth, praying for a good result. The baby mustn't die and the thought of my wife dying was too terrible to contemplate.
25 minutes later a surgeon came out. He asked me to come into his office with him. He said in a quiet voice that I should sit down and he offered me a cup of tea, but all I wanted was to know whether my wife and the baby were alive. He then said "I'm afraid there's bad news."
"Is my wife alive?" I asked in blind panic.
"Yes, she's doing well," he assured me "but your baby isn't alive. Your wife had a girl. We spent 15 minutes trying to revive her, but it wasn't possible."
I felt devastated, yet relieved that the news wasn't as bad as it might have been. They left me alone in the office. I sobbed.
The next day the hospital staff took me to the chapel where they left me to be alone. I was able to hold my daughter. She had weighed 7 pounds 15 ounces at birth. My heart was aching and my tears kept on flowing. Her tiny hands were perfect, her eyes were tightly shut and she had dark brown hair. Her skin was cold, she was silent and she was motionless. The daughter I'd prayed so hard for was dead.
My thoughts turned once again to God, but in the place of trust and hope I now felt utter betrayal and anger. I still believed in His existence, but my attitude was very different. How could this so-called all-loving God treat my wife, my daughter and me this way? It was so unfair. God is supposed to be our Father in heaven. What normal loving father would treat his child so dreadfully? Couldn't this all-powerful God simply have prevented this unnecessary tragedy? It was all so pointless. It didn't have to happen like this. Who did this death help? Nobody.
I prayed. "Why, God, why?" I expected some sort of comfort to come upon me, but there was nothing. I knew from my experience, from the experiences of other people and from observing the marvels of nature that God existed, but He seemed to have deserted me just when I needed Him most. What sort of God was this? How could He be so cruel? "Where are You?" I prayed. "Do You care at all? Can I ever trust You again?" No answer of any kind. He had turned His back on me.
Though I never hated God, I felt that the love I'd had for Him in happier times had gone forever. The future looked very bleak.
When my wife was well enough I took her home. We looked with intense sadness at the empty pram waiting expectantly in the hallway. We gazed at the stack of unwanted baby clothes. All this grief could have been avoided if God had only answered my prayers.
Now we were home I continued to pray. "Why? Why? Why?" I felt He'd been cruel to my wife and me and I couldn't imagine what we'd done to deserve it. I looked at the world around me and became more aware than before of tragedies that were occurring every day. It seemed so wrong. Evil people, natural disasters and horrible diseases were causing misery in the beautiful world God had created. Why, if He's all-powerful, didn't He stop these dreadful things from happening?
Although my faith in God wasn't completely shattered, I felt it was very badly damaged, perhaps beyond repair.
I was in my 30s then. I'm in my 70s now. As the years passed, one by one, I noticed things and events which have gradually altered my opinions. I could have stubbornly remained at war with God, but I slowly came to the conclusion that the wiser thing to do would be to see if I could make any sense of the loss of my daughter and of the injustices so evident in the world around me. I would give God a chance. It's only fair, even if He hadn't been fair to me.
Here is how my mind-set gradually changed over the years, step by step:
- Having experienced real anguish for the first time in my life, I began to be much more aware of other people's tragedies, both close to home and in the world at large. I was well aware that many people had suffered much worse things than we had. I began to actively support charities.
- I read in the Bible that it is better to be angry with God than to ignore Him. God fully understands our reasons and doesn't blame us for being angry with Him.
- Over the years I have met other people whose faith had been badly damaged by the same sort of experience. They were left bitter and angry with God for not helping them in their time of greatest need. For some people the pain and sense of betrayal stretched over many years.
- The tragedy of a life without hope was brought home to me in a dreadful way. The company I was working for was going through some hard times and a colleague of mine had convinced himself that he was going to lose his job. One Monday morning he didn't turn up for work. We found out later that he'd killed himself. A few months after that the firm's fortunes improved and nobody lost their job. He'd lost all hope, his friends had been unable to reassure him, and he knew nothing about praying. It made me realise that hope can mean the difference between life and death.
- In my anger I asked, If God is love, why did He make His son die in agony on the Cross? As the years went by and I learnt more from the Bible I realised that Jesus had actually volunteered to come down from heaven to earth to do it. The problem had been that to welcome everybody to heaven, regardless of what sort of lives they'd led, would have meant a heaven full of sin. Heaven would then be just as bad as earth. Logically, to enter a perfect heaven, we need to have a lifetime of various sins wiped clean. In other words, before we enter heaven we need to be punished for the bad things we've done.
Both Father and Son loved us so much that they had agreed that instead of watching us being punished, Jesus would come directly to us and offer to be our Redeemer. He would offer to take the punishment on our behalf, if we believed in Him, and then we'd be forgiven. Problem solved.
Then I had an idea which I was sure was better than God's idea - instead of Jesus taking the individual punishments we each knew we deserved (Jesus' punishment had to be particularly severe because it had to reflect the sins of people much more wicked than me or you), why couldn't God simply forgive everybody who said sorry and let us into heaven at the appropriate time? Simple. In time, though, I came to realise that my idea wouldn't work and God had been right all along. Saying sorry is easy (for most people, but admittedly not for everybody), but how sincere would it be? There would be no commitment and no change of heart. Instead, saying "I believe in You" to Jesus, in His wisdom and compassion, is an outlook-on-life changer and could well result in efforts to make the world a better place.
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- After wondering if I could ever depend on God again after what had happened, I found a theme running through the Bible. It was God saying "Trust me and everything will be fine in the end." I decided to do just that. I gave God the benefit of the doubt and bit by bit my trust returned. Patience and trust are what God asks from us, not conspicuous displays of religiousness.
- I reflected on the fact that life had been very unfair to Jesus. He'd walked from town to town healing the sick and encouraging people to show love for each other, but after three years He was executed. Since then people seem to get satisfaction from ridiculing Him, but His central message was "Love one another".
- I came to realise that bottled-up anger, disappointment and mistrust were unhealthy emotions. Instead of being so negative I went looking for answers.
- I wondered why, if God is love, Christians occasionally talk about fearing Him. Then I found out that to fear God is simply an expression meaning to do the right thing. When faced with a moral dilemma, ask yourself what God would want you to do (the answer's in the Bible) and then do it. It might take you outside your comfort zone.
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My experience, and I suspect the experience of many Christians, was that being born again simply meant no longer thinking of everything in a materialistic way. Instead, the spiritual part of me began to break free. With this new freedom I felt happier and more contented and, with time, I was able to get much closer to God. I try not to be judgmental, though whether I succeed only others can tell, and I don't go around thinking of other people as being sinners because I've got plenty of faults of my own.
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- The mental picture of God assigning a "to be answered on" date for every prayer grew in my mind. He knows everyone's life span. To keep the promise that all prayers will be answered He needs to answer each prayer at the most appropriate time in the person's life, which might involve considerable delay. God delays for a reason, not because He doesn't care. Perhaps He wants to strengthen us so that we can better help others. If prayers from long ago haven't been answered yet, never ever give up. Don't forget that giving you something better than what you asked for counts as an answered prayer.
- I used to fret about a missed lifetime with my daughter, but now that I'm getting older (I hate the word "old" !!) I realise that she went straight to heaven as a sinless baby and will be with me for all eternity. The Bible says there is no illness in heaven and that our bodies will be recognisable as they were when we were in our prime. Disabled people will be able bodied. Mental illness is unknown in heaven.
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- After the death of our daughter we had another daughter. She is a lovely person, as are her sisters, but she would not exist if her elder sister had survived. We had planned for three children, but now we have four, one of them being in heaven. Children are a blessing.
- An agnostic friend of mine once asked me if I found it difficult, as a scientist, to believe in God. I said it was not at all difficult because I could see evidence for God in the incredibly elegant laws of nature and in the wonderful words of wisdom of His son Jesus Christ. I told her I found it easy to believe in the Creator God.
- This is how I now get my head round the concept of an invisible Lord who, nevertheless, is close to us, even though we can't see Him. Being a scientist I think of it in terms of dimensions, though whether my theory corresponds with the actual facts, God knows (literally!) If my brain is not capable of fully understanding this world, no wonder it is difficult for it to understand the idea of a better life to come!
- I have now come to terms with the saddest event of my life. Now that I'm old(er) I see events from a different point of view. I gave God a second chance and I'm no longer at war with Him. (I bet He's relieved about that!!! Me versus the Lord. On reflection I see it was a bit of an uneven contest).
- In this, "My Personal Story" recently there has been a new development which has focussed my mind on why there is pain in our lives.
Not long ago I had a routine blood test and I expected the result to be a formality. Unfortunately it wasn't. The result was so unexpected that it prompted my doctor to say that cancer was a possible cause. The cancer in question is often symptomless and painless for a long time. Only when the disease has spread do nasty things start to happen.
If I hadn't had the blood test and if I do indeed have cancer in its early stages (the tests are on-going), I would have had to have waited for pain to start to warn me of trouble. Like many people in that situation, I might have ignored the pain until the illness was too advanced to treat.
As I have recently been realizing, in some circumstances pain can act as an important warning of danger. Pain can save lives. Not all pain is meaningless.
- The following handful of Bible verses sum up Christianity for me.
In the beginning God created the universe.
Genesis 1,1
[On being asked what the greatest commandment was] Jesus answered," 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the greatest and most important commandment.
The second most important commandment is like it: 'Love your neighbour as you love yourself.' "
Matthew 22,37-39
"Do to others as you would have them do to you."
Luke 6,31
For God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life.
John 3,16
[Jesus said to the man dying on the cross next to Him] "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise."
Luke 23,43
- I had to choose between atheism (i.e. a universe which created itself at a random point in infinite time, which is held together by totally random forces and where human behaviour is not subject to any rules) and religion (i.e. the presence of a designer / creator god who gives us rules to live by). Option 2 seemed much more in agreement with the scientific facts. Then I had to choose one of the major world religions. In spite of the Church being far from perfect, Jesus' message of love, peace and hope seemed to me to be the one most likely to reflect the ethos of a creator-god. So now I am a Christian again. There can only be one true religion and I'm convinced it's Christianity.
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When God Betrays Your Trust
My Personal Story
More Thoughts Along The Journey
- I was concerned that certain fundamentalist preachers were stating that innocent people would "burn in hell for ever" regardless of what sort of lives they had led. This was an obvious contradiction to the Bible's statement that God is love and that He is a God of justice. Jesus preached love, forgiveness and justice. It's true that He warned of the possibility for some people of being burnt up in a fire that never goes out, like weeds on a bonfire, but surely this would only be fair in the extreme case of people behind genocide, terrorism, or crimes against innocent children, for instance. They can't get off scot-free. Jesus tried to gain believers through His example of love for the people all around Him. The "hellfire" preachers try to gain believers through fear and I think that is very wrong. A religion that spreads its message through fear can't be right, so those preachers must be wrong.
- I worried about why this world is so unfair, but I realised that this world is a random place. Some people are born wealthy, some are born into a disease-ridden environment, while for many life isn't too bad. Life is unfair, but how would life being fair actually work if we were to keep our free will? The randomness of this life means that some people have an easy time while for others existing means daily misery. Unless everyone led identical lives in an unchanging environment amongst people of endless good will, it is hard to see how unfairness could be avoided. The Bible does say that God is extremely aware of the injustices of this life and He offers us the promise of never-ending life in heaven, if we want it, and the power of prayer in the meantime. For people who don't pray regularly, or patiently, or with trust, prayer can be compared to wishful thinking, but millions of people who do pray testify that prayers really do change things for the best.
- I read in the Bible that although God is very pleased with the world He created and loves all the life that inhabits it, human and animal, there is also an evil force at work behind the scenes. This malevolent power likes to bring pain and misery to as many innocent people as possible and then keep a low profile while God gets the blame. Jesus referred to this vile entity as Satan. It suits Satan to hear people saying there is no such thing as the devil - then he can quietly enjoy watching people unfairly abusing God. God's dilemma is that, being all-powerful, He could solve a lot of the world's problems in an instant if He took away our free will. He obviously decided to let us keep our free will, despite all the anguish that could result in.
- I wondered if Jesus understood my suffering, but then I remembered that He had been whipped and nailed to a wooden cross in punishment for my sins. He'd suffered far more than I had suffered. Yes, He understood.
- Life is random and God doesn't intervene unless asked. This is what prayer is about. God won't answer a prayer which requires the laws of nature to be broken. That would require a miracle. On the other hand, He will arrange for the course of events to be changed in a particular direction. Where several related events need arranging for the prayer to be answered, there may be a delay. God works on our prayers out of sight. With prayer patience is essential.
- I started to realise that Christian hope means a lot more than ordinary hope. Normally hope involves trusting to luck that things might turn out ok in the end. Christian hope means the confident expectation that the unseen God is working behind the scenes for our long-term good. Christians are confident that what He's done for others He will do for them too.
- I pondered over the amount of human suffering in the world and I wondered whether God was doing anything about it and, if so, how could He do it? Then I became increasingly aware of the thousands of charities which are busy bringing relief and hope to people (and animals) suffering on this planet. I felt that the charities were acting as God's hands here on earth. Many charitable people are not religious, but of course you don't have to be a Christian to do good things!
- I read in the Bible that after we die injustices are put right in heaven. God doesn't ignore the victims of this world. Similarly, the people who get away with so much evil in this life will have to pay for it in the next.
- I read that people are rewarded in heaven according to what they did in this life.
- I was disturbed to hear certain fundamentalist preachers enthusiastically telling people that becoming "born again" makes you into a "changed person". Words like that could put anyone off believing in Jesus in case they suddenly became judgmental kill-joys, looking on their family and friends as "sinners". Who would want someone like that suddenly living amongst them? It was later I learnt that Jesus commanded us not to be judgmental, that life is for living, and it is not for us to decide who is, or isn't, a "sinner". We don't know the person's circumstances - Jesus does. Jesus made it clear He takes a dim view of hypocrisy.
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- The cruelty and injustice of Jesus being whipped and nailed to a cross on the first Good Friday and His assertion that in the kingdom of heaven many who are now last will be first and many who are now first will be last, suggested to me that Jesus understands injustice and will actively put it right.
- Over time I realised that often prayers are not always answered in the way we expect. God sometimes goes beyond our expectations.
- I used to wonder why God doesn't randomly intervene in the world to stop tragedies before they happen. On further reflection I concluded that to prevent natural disasters God would have to break the laws of nature (e.g. to prevent earthquakes He would have to stop the earth's crust from cooling and buckling and continents from drifting). To stop people becoming evil criminals and causing misery He would have to take away our free will and make us all into benevolent robots. Is that what we want?
- I read that people who don't want heaven don't get it. When they die they perish. They get what they expected so I guess they can't complain. The problem is, before they perish they have to be punished for all the hurt they caused to other people. In the case of a genocidal dictator who brought misery to millions, that could take a long time. The alternative to being punished is to repent in prayer to Jesus or God and then what Jesus suffered on the Cross is counted as being our punishment. He went through it voluntarily on our behalf.
- My image of God as a loving, but firm, parent began to grow. Although God is described as "our Father", gender doesn't come into it. I imagined the parent of a child who was having a rough time at school saying "While you were at school today I was making arrangements for a better life for you. I'm not going to tell you what I've been doing - you'll have to trust me." Only later would the child find out that they would be going to a better school, where they would be happy. God arranges things behind the scenes in answer to our prayers, but in the meantime we need to trust Him like a loving father. I believe that's the way God works.
- I read in the Bible that God tests some people to see if they have the faith and the stamina to help Him with His plans for the world. Occasionally, if the project He has planned is very important, He will test someone nearly to their limit, but never beyond. If you feel God is testing you, do your best and pass the test. God might well have something important in mind for you to do that will help others in a way you couldn't have imagined.
- It concerned me that to certain preachers the word "sin" above all else meant "sex". I couldn't understand why they were so focussed on intimate personal relationships, ones often associated with love. Common sense said that the seriousness of a sin was dependent on the amount of misery it caused. By this measure shouldn't the preachers have been spending much more time and effort focussing on wars, terrorism and genocide, or the trafficking of slaves and drugs, or corrupt governments embezzling humanitarian aid? These are areas where there is misery of colossal proportions. Why were these preachers judging people's morals when Jesus said clearly "Do not judge others, so that God will not judge you, for God will judge you in the same way as you judge others."
In Jesus' day a woman could be stoned to death for adultery. On one occasion the authorities brought a woman caught in adultery to Him and He was asked if He thought that this sentence should be carried out. He simply said, "All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!" Her accusers hesitated and then walked away. Then Jesus asked the woman, "Where are your accusers? Didn't even one of them condemn you?" "No, Lord", she said. And Jesus said, "Neither do I. Go and sin no more."
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- I speculated that although life seems unfair to us, God sees the bigger picture and from a longer time scale. It's not easy to balance a lifetime of poverty, disease and injustice with an eternity of happiness, health and peace when we can only see one side of the equation. Justice will be done though.
- After having worried for years that only Christians would be admitted to heaven, while wonderful people from other religions would be turned away, I read Jesus' parable of the shepherd separating his sheep from the goats. While Jesus promised that believers in Him were indeed guaranteed a place in heaven, that didn't mean that He wouldn't choose people from other religions too. The same would apply to people who, for whatever reason, had never heard of Jesus. On the other hand, people who actively reject Jesus are shut out of heaven, but that was their choice. As for people who try to wreck Christianity, they will be in deep trouble when their time comes to meet their Maker and give an account of themselves. God knows what will happen to them.
- With time I realised that various prayers from my past which had not been answered at the time had now, in fact, been answered.
- I wondered if one day finding myself in heaven would be like waking from a bad dream, or like winter turning into spring.
- I came across cynics who thought that a place as ideal as heaven could never actually exist. Nevertheless, world peace organisations, environmentalists and world health charities each think various aspects of heaven are achievable here on earth, let alone in heaven, so could it be that the cynics are wrong?
- Just as I was getting my faith in God back, there came the unbelievably vile atrocity we call "9/11". God was aware of the terrorists' plans, He knew what was going to happen, yet He did absolutely nothing to stop it, even in an indirect way, such as making it possible for the police to arrest the criminals beforehand.
- I admit that God's attitude to terrorism is just as incomprehensible to me now as it was then. I still can't begin to understand what God was thinking, but as God's mind is infinitely greater than mine, I shall just have to live with my unknowing. I shall know one day.
- When there is a tragedy such as a terrorist bomb attack on children at a concert, or a high rise block of apartments being gutted by fire, it is understandable that some people will blame God. In my own small way I have been there and done that when my daughter died. But shouldn't we be focussing our thirst for justice on the real perpetrators of the tragedies, the terrorists, or the people whose actions (or lack of them) made a catastrophe inevitable? People ask "Where was God when the terrible thing happened?", but they don't ask "Where was Satan when it happened?"
- There are some people who are so angry with God about the things happening in the world that they say they can't believe in Him anymore and walk away. Despite the demonstration of their righteous anger, God will still be there and the world will still be a place troubled by disasters not of His making. How does abandoning Him in a time of crisis make the world a better place?
- Instead of not believing in God anymore, couldn't more be achieved by focussing on Biblical commandments such as "At all times make it your aim to do good to one another and to all people" (1 Thessalonians 5,15), "Our love should not be just words and talk; it must be true love, which shows itself in action." (1 John 3,18), or "Conquer evil with good." (Romans 12,21).
- Deserting God in a time of crisis is negative and achieves nothing. Sticking with God in a time of crisis and doing our best to make the world a better, safer place is positive and can achieve a lot.
- I felt I had a number of choices after 9/11.
- Change my religion. I soon realised that God's apparent inactivity against terrorists wasn't a fault of Christianity. The same charge could be levelled at the god(s) of any other religion - e.g. why did Allah, if he is the true God, do nothing to stop the terrorists?
- Become an agnostic. Should I say I no longer knew whether there is a god or not, but be open to convincing persuasion? The problem with that was that I found most other aspects of Christianity convincing, so I wouldn't really, in my heart, be an agnostic.
- Become secular, like many people in the West. Should I try to forget about religion completely and get on with day to day life until I die? Should I hope that it's correct to believe (as many secular people do) that death either means endless sleep, or God, if He happens to exist, will judge me to be in some way "good enough" for heaven and will let me in without the need for any previous belief? Unfortunately, the Bible says that for Jesus and God to welcome you to heaven you need to believe in them first. Is that so unreasonable?
- Become an atheist. Could I convince myself that there is no god and that the physical universe is all there is? Should I say there is no scientific evidence for God, so He doesn't exist? The obvious fallacy with that argument is that not having evidence to hand proves nothing. In Shakespeare's time there was no evidence for radio waves, but it certainly didn't prove they didn't exist. More likely it suggested that the human mind wasn't ready to understand them at that time.
The words of Jesus as recorded in the Gospels seem so impressive that I can't simply ignore them. The problem that many atheists have is that they are dismissive of Jesus without ever having made the effort to study what He actually said. How ludicrous is that!! Each of the 4 Gospels takes about an hour to read.
Nobody has yet convinced me that the structure of an atom and the laws of physics were not the result of a very sophisticated Design.
- Remain a believing Christian and trust that in due time God will give me the answers I need to know.
I chose option 5. What would you choose?
- Change my religion. I soon realised that God's apparent inactivity against terrorists wasn't a fault of Christianity. The same charge could be levelled at the god(s) of any other religion - e.g. why did Allah, if he is the true God, do nothing to stop the terrorists?
- As I said, like nearly everybody else I can't begin to understand God's mind when it comes to terrorism. I don't understand the mind of God any more than a devoted dog understands the complicated mind of its caring owner. Nevertheless, despite the vast difference in intellect between the two, their relationship is almost perfect.
- I came across people who said that if Christianity offers endless life, the ability to talk to God through prayer and being loved not only by God, but by other believers, there must be a catch. But God is our Father. Does there have to be a catch when a father promises his child a bicycle, for instance? Parents like giving things to their children. It is natural for a child to trust their dad. Why should there be a catch? It is simply love.
- I used to think that people having to spend a lifetime in poverty or illness through no fault of their own was a sign that God didn't care. But God is a God of justice. He does care and He will make things right as promised. Justice will be done as promised. God doesn't break promises, even though from our vantage point and time scale He might appear to.
- Eternity is a long, long time. After the first 500 years in paradise, memories of a miserable time on earth might fade.
- Apart from being expected to treat other people with kindness, and being charitable, and avoiding committing murder and theft (not too difficult for most people), one of the biggest challenges Christianity presents us with is faith. One thing that Jesus emphasises over and over is the importance of trusting Him and believing His words. "Just trust Me" is what He asks.
- More recently I've been thinking about the question, If God is all-powerful and all-knowing, then I can't be responsible for my actions. For Him to know what I'm going to do before I do it must mean my life is predestined. Nothing I do would take God by surprise. But as I read through the Old Testament I came across plenty of examples of the actions of people taking Him by surprise. Sometimes He was pleased and sometimes He was angry.
In theory, being all-powerful and all-knowing, God could know everything about the future before it happens and there are places in the Bible where it is obvious that He does. All the same, I think He often chooses not to. When I pick up a novel I could read the last chapter first, but in practice I never do. If our actions are pre-destined, why does the Bible keep stressing the importance of making the right choices and doing the right thing?
- Hearing Christians talking about Jesus in the present tense, "Jesus is . . .", not "Jesus was . . .", made me suddenly realise that Jesus isn't dead - Jesus is ALIVE. Of course I'd read how He had been crucified and had died and had been buried in a tomb on the first Good Friday. Naturally I'd read about His Resurrection on the Easter Sunday, when life miraculously came back to Him. After all, that miracle is at the centre of the Christian faith. What I hadn't thought through was the fact that He has remained alive ever since! When it finally dawned on me, I thought "Wow! That's wonderful !!" And I've never stopped thinking how amazing that fact is!
- God rules in heaven, but He gave the earth to mankind.
Two thousand years ago God sent His son Jesus into the world with a message of love. If we really listen to that message, how different the world could be!
- That's my journey. How about you? What's your relationship with God at the moment?
- Non-existent - there is no such thing as God.
- I'd like to believe in God, but something is holding me back.
- I believe in God, but I don't believe in Jesus (or vice versa) - something is holding me back.
- I believe in God the Father and in Jesus, His son, but that's as far as it goes.
- I am permanently angry with God because of something that happened in the past and I will never forgive Him, even though He is happy to forgive my wrongdoings if I ask Him to.
- I am angry with God because of something that happened in the past, but I am prepared to move on and to get to know Him and His son Jesus better.
- I am comfortable with God, just knowing He is there if I need Him.
- I am on speaking terms with God, but usually only in an emergency.
- I am able to take my joys and my deepest worries to Him, knowing that God wants to share my happiness, and has the power to help me through my troubles.
- Not only do I have a deep and satisfying relationship with God the Father, but I also understand how His son Jesus voluntarily went to the Cross on my behalf, taking my sins on His shoulders, and on behalf of anyone who believes in Him, so that we can have everlasting life.
- Not only do I believe in God the Creator and Jesus my Saviour, but I also want to do my best to follow them and behave as a good Christian, as described in the Bible, secure in the knowledge that whenever I get it wrong and say sorry, I will be forgiven.
All of these relationships are possible - I know - I've experienced each of them except for the first three and number five. Whichever category you think you're in, consider whether you might feel better by moving up to another one. What have you got to lose?
- The cruelty and injustice of Jesus being whipped and nailed to a cross on the first Good Friday and His assertion that in the kingdom of heaven many who are now last will be first and many who are now first will be last, suggested to me that Jesus understands injustice and will actively put it right.
- After wondering if I could ever depend on God again after what had happened, I found a theme running through the Bible. It was God saying "Trust me and everything will be fine in the end." I decided to do just that. I gave God the benefit of the doubt and bit by bit my trust returned. Patience and trust are what God asks from us, not conspicuous displays of religiousness.